Erika W. You get to decide what counts. It's a social construct we made up, and the person you are after sex is the same as before sex, just like you [were] the same person before and after you ate ice cream for the first time. And you probably want your first time having sexwhatever that means to you, to be fun and pleasurable for both you and your partner. We talked to the experts to get their advice, and added a few tips of our own.