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Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way. Barr's Inertial Principle: Asking scientists to revise their theory is like asking cops to revise the law. Bassagordian's Basic Principle and Ultimate Axiom: By definition, when you are investigating the unknown, you do not know what you will find or even when you have found it. Bowie's Theorem: If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. Campbell's Law: Nature abhors a vacuous experimenter. Darwin's Law: Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.

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