Don't try to control things. The more you try to control or push hard, the more it is going to look gamey and unnatural, and will have less of an impact. For example: planning too much like 'If she says this, I will do or say this' can be too mechanical and gamey. This may not lead you very far because you are trying to control the conversation and not enjoying it. For example: You can throw out a bunch of topics and see which one sticks. That's why having common interests has great power. It can't be gained through interfering Tao Te Ching.
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