This is Real Sex, Real Answers: An advice column that understands that sex and sexuality is complicated, and worth chatting about openly and without stigma — and that, sometimes, that means reaching out to a stranger on the internet for help. Rachel Charlene Lewis is a long-time reader and writer within the sexual wellness space, and is never not talking about sexuality. So why not join the conversation? Just one of the many unfair, damaging things that marginalized people have to deal with is constantly navigating the space between being our most honest, truest selves and not wanting to feed into stereotypes. But I can say that at the center of healthy relationships is honesty, and the ability to be yourself.
Afterwards years of wondering if I could ever be intimate with another be in charge of, I decided to hook up along with a dude my freshman year of college. I figured this bicurious affair clearly isn't a phase, since I'd been thinking about it for a few years. The only way I could know for sure if I was actually gay or bi was if tested the waters. So I did. Alas, I got so drunk in order to have the audacity to hook up with another be in charge of that I ended up puking central through our encounter. After the be subject to, I could not tell you but I was gay or bi. By and large, the experience was meh, like a few really sloppy, drunken hookup regardless of gender. The thing is, I went about hooking up with a chap all wrong.