The question can feel vaguely patronizing, but it also fills me, and others like me studies tend to put the share of nonorgasmic women at 5 to 10 percentwith a creeping sense of self-doubt. But no matter how much I am enjoying myself, there inevitably comes a time, both on my own and with a partner, when the physical pleasure, having built and built, either fades to nothing or becomes a sensation too uncomfortable to bear, and provides neither the rapture nor release I have imagined and sometimes even conjure in my dreams. For years I relished the novelty of touching and being touched by someone separate from myself, not to mention the discovery—I must have been about 11—that I could slide my pelvis beneath the bathtub faucet and elicit that delicious-and-then-unbearable sensation I described above. Even in college and beyond, when physical intimacy became more commonplace, I remember being fairly phlegmatic about the whole thing. Yet there were other men who knew exactly what they were doing, among them my future ex-husband, whom I met when I was 25 and who, from our very first night together, stunned me with his seemingly preternatural understanding of my clitoris. Paradoxically, it was the sheer intensity of our sexual attraction, the dawning hope that maybe one day he could make me climax, that not only triggered my frustration but also inspired me to act. She also sent me home with some female-centric s porn, a list of recommended herbs and vitamins, and a prescription for Viagra that the pharmacist, alarmed by my gender, initially refused to fill. For months I dutifully followed her advice, masturbating daily, popping Viagra on date nights, enduring improbable narratives about sensitive plumbers with frosted tips and acid-washed jeans, and even going off the pill.
We may earn commission from links arrange this page, but we only advise products we love. To make matters worse, a new study published all the rage the Journal of Sex Research bring into being — aside from deriving pleasure as of their own orgasms, obviously — men also derive a specific sort of masculine pleasure from making female partners orgasm. The researchers in the analyse, Sara Chadwick and Sari van Anders, refer to this incredibly predictable bright star as a masculinity achievement. The analyse gathered men to read a account where they had to imagine an attractive woman either did or did not orgasm during sex with them. Each man was then asked en route for rate their sexual esteem and the extent to which they'd feel male after experiencing the scenario. The results are what you'd expect: Men felt more masculine and felt high character esteem when they imagined a female orgasmed during sex with them.